Blog Posts

My Best Partner

There is one thing I believe I know for sure, our relationships are a reflection of our relationships with our Higher Power, and I can say I am quite for and feel blessed with mine.

My Daymon is my closest ‘Partner’ and has become over the years the One and only ‘co-pilot’ for me with the Traveling Sanctuary. If He can’t go, I won’t go.

Jumanji, the Iron Pony, could be considered the Pilot 😂 well because, if She is not gonna run or something, there is no going right?! And well, I am along for the ride wherever that may be.

So, over the course of the years, the Iron Pony has changed makes and models… and Daymon has been there through other ‘Partners’ sometimes when needed; however, what I can say is, there has been a consistency.

The Iron Ponies have been amazing machines, seeming to do the impossible sometimes… I could definitely share some stories 😉 (inanimate object you say? Lol)

Well then, back to my Little Man Daymon…my one Partner who has never failed me, asked me to leave, or left me, and even when I have left Him, He does has done this translocation through other Animals, never holding a grudge, (that was before the promise of not leaving him behind). He is always happy to me, never tries to ‘fix me’ or gets angry… He just loves me, just the way I am.

My Daymon comforts me without judgment or advice, picks up the pictures in my mind of what I want and does them without commands. Many times He knows exactly what I need or want even before I do.

He is always in a peaceful state, compassionate, alerts me when necessary, is an excellent ‘judge’ of character and is the healthiest little Cat/Dog I have ever known… (yes, He thinks He is part Cat) and when he has been ill, He recovers so quick, it is a miracle.

He is a born rider and traveler, making himself at home wherever we are summoned to go, will climb just about any Tree with me.

We will, do, and are leading and following each other anywhere together. He is my Sai Babi.

Ya know, When I named Him, I named Him after a Dragon that seduced a Goddess, I cannot remember the book/story it came out of 11 years ago, but I am so glad I did because He has lived up to it, over and over…

So… Who is your closest Partner?

Love Keeps Us Alive

After seeming to drive in circles, I arrive at a local Animal Shelter, have a Noon Animal Deeksha in the parking lot and go inside to volunteer with either walking some Dogs or gathering some info for a program (Homeless and Animals) in development… or so I thought. I have 30 minutes before the car is to be returned.

As I start to ask a few questions, a Homeless Lady walks in the door. She asks, “May I go get my Cat, Patches?” The Shelter worker states, “We do not have Patches here.” And so I begin witnessing a conversation of where and what happened to her Patches. Then, it is realized…Patches was in the care of a friend while the Lady went to the hospital. It seems Patches herself was also extremely ill, found to be contagious, and once she began sneezing blood was brought to the Animal Shelter having to be euthanized.

This Homeless Lady has just gotten out of a week long stay in the hospital, walked numerous miles to get to the Shelter to see Her beloved Patches and has just learned that She is gone. She is in shock, then in denial asking clarifying questions, and it briefly shifts to anger.

It was admirable how calm and ‘gently firm’ the Shelter workers were at doing their best to explain what happened and the grace that was bestowed upon Patches because of Her condition; however, Patches was all this Lady’s Animal Companion. She was what got her back from the hospital, and what motivated Her to come all the way to Shelter.

She is not here. There is no body. There is no burial site, no closure. it was becoming evident, no will to move forward. She is grieving and lost.

The words begin muttering out of my mouth, ‘What is your name, please?’ She responds and I share, “I am an Animal Chaplain and it would be an honor to pray with you, for Patches. We can have a little Ceremony for Patches, if you would like.” I will not forget those sorrowful eyes looking up at me from that chair, as seeming spark of glitter as She sputtered through Her tears, “Yes, please.” So, I ask if we can go to the pet cemetery.


We walk together past Her grocery cart, which only had 2 small empty yogurt containers, a cup of coffee and a bouquet of flowers. I ask if She would like to offer the flowers to Patches.

Honestly, I was not sure what I was gonna say or do; but I knew that if this was me, my Animal Companion, I would be in need of a compassionate hand to help me move forward. So, I took Her hand. She had Flowers in the other hand and as we walked, I asked Her to tell me about Patches.

She shares with me the last time She saw Patches before entering the hospital. How faithful Patches was all these years. How She promised She would be back for Her. And even how sorry She was for many things.

We entered the cemetery, and stood before an Altar of Cat statues, took turns speaking our prayers and found a safe place for the Flowers to be honored in Patches name. I fell in Love with Patches. I fell in Love with this Lady. And even more so, I fell in Love with the Love they shared.

As we walked back out, She stated, ‘I don’t know what I would have done if you were not here and I surely don’t feel like going to this 4 o’clock appt I have to be given a little permanent place. It is supposed to be a little apt for Patches and me to stay. I have no reason to go now. What am I going to do now.”


It was as if Patches was speaking through me next. It went something like: “You did come back for Patches. Patches loves you so much that She made sure you found Her so you would not be worrying about what happened. You are such a strong and brave woman to make it out here where this Shelter is. Don’t you believe that Patches would want you to go to that appt? Get that place? She wants you to get that apartment so you have a good place for Her to come back to you through another body. Patches will bring you another heart to love, and to love you as much as She loves you.”

I recall sharing with Her that it is by no accident that our Higher Power orchestrated us meeting to honor Patches and what our Animal Companions do for us in our lives.

As we make it back to our ‘vehicles,’ She asks for a ride, willing to leave the cart behind and states, “I’ll be right back. I must go inside and apologize to the Ladies.” I waited in admiration, once again for her kind thoughtfulness and willingness to ‘keep things right’ even in a moment like this. This is definitely one who has worked a 12-step program.

As we reach the parking lot in town where we go our separate ways, we share our gratitude with each other. And while holding hands we make a few promises…promises of hope for the days ahead, promises to the ‘Patches’ we carry in our hearts, and promises of another Animal blessing our lives as we keep our hearts open to accepting the Love that Animals know we are all worthy of….Thank you Great Spirit for our Natural Guidance and synchronizing together so eloquently for exactly what all of our hearts need, when we need it, and how we need it. 


Deming Animal Compassion Ride

Apithan Ministries is so grateful for the opportunity to work with the  compassionate, generous, and dedicated human Animals on behalf of our non-human Animals and one wonderful community!; for what turned out to coincided with the International Golden Rule Day.

Apithan Ministries organized a motorcycle (or Iron Pony) ride with a grant from The Awesome Project to benefit the Deming Luna County Humane Society, while planting the seeds of compassionate awareness by extending the Golden Rule for the treatment of animals in our food system.

We gathered a ‘Pack of Iron Ponies’ at MotoTech for a blessing on the morning of April 6th, chose a dog or cat to ride for, and saddled up for 158 miles as a single herd with a motto, “leave no animal behind,” up and through the Emory Pass where we were greeted by a herd of Deer as we entered.

We made our full pass arriving at the Deming Animal Shelter for a Shelter tour, an opportunity to meet & adopt the animal we rode for, a food and animal shelter blessing, and an inspiringly delicious Vegan meal and music! Not to mention the fun and laughter we had with 3 different Auctions!!

We are extremely grateful for all the sponsors, volunteers, and riders who helped make this successful event happen! We could not have done it without YOU!

The first Annual Deming Animal Compassion Ride raised $470 dollars! And we raised $60 for seeding a brand new program that Apithan Ministries introduced to Deming Silver Linings called the “Homeless’ Animal Companion Emergency Fund!”

PS Everyone was refilling their Vegan Chili bowls 2 and 3 times!!

Thank you MotoTech, Copperkettle, High Desert Veterinarian Clinic, Sunshine Grooming, Grow Your Tree Yoga, Pepper’s Supermarket, Tractor Supply, Al B’Jammin, Awesome Project, Deming Silver Linings, American Legion Riders, Busy Bee, Art on Wings, and Stoned Creations. (We surely hope we did not miss anyone!)

We are also happy to announce that the remaining food and supplies from the event was donated forward to Deming Silver Linings’ food pantry! And I was told those Homeless Humans loved the meal too!!

Check out that Vegan sausage being munched on and the vegan chili bowls do not have a drop left!

One last thing … Some gratitude and advice from a fellow rider:

“Do unto all Animals as one would have done unto oneself”

Please feel free to contact Apithan Ministries or the AHOWAN Traveling Spiritual Sanctuary for an Animal Compassion Ride to benefit an Animal facility or cause close your heart 💜

Navigating Oneself

There’s a few things I have learned about myself… and I am remembering once again.

I am one totally loyal dog, a quite independent cat, a stubborn mule with the determination of a badger. I have set out on a journey with my pathfinding wolfheart, and have circled around several times, the world included a few times.

I can feel those around me so much, wanting only the best, praying for the Highest Good to reveal all our desires and dreams. Many times I begin to chameleon myself and the dreams merge with no boundaries of whose is whose. Even though I know this takes place, I am like a Salmon heading upstream in a passionate fury.

I can leap like a Goat, and soar like an Eagle… I am resilient like a cockroach, and when a stream is complete having laid the seeds for now, the Eagle within me plucks me out, moving me to a new stream.

The Monkey Mind goes wild with all the buts, shoulda, coulda and what if’s.

There’s gratitude, there’s grief, and then there’s the ‘Well, what’s next? now what?’ as I dive in assessing my new stream and the continuance of a vision like some kind of mission.

One would think by now that I would have learned! There is a part of me that knows this, that understands and can ‘see it;’ however, I have not been able to hear the words to share it, because it is a feeling, and feelings or ‘knowings’ do not always have words.

Like a Giraffe, I can see the higher, bigger picture.. However, I am most vulnerable when I lower my head. So, I get caught up sometimes, and I get entangled in the material world with all the rules, protocols, and capitalism we have created. Living from the heart it feels as if all those obstacles we have created are just not necessary.

I believe this is one of my superpowers… especially when I pull out the Elephant in me to clear the way.

I have what I realize is my unique gift … Sometimes the Ant colonies got to get stirred up…I got this Anteater in me that does just that when I get a call saying, “Yes, we want something new, or we want to do differently, or please come help us, pray for us.”

I always bring in ritual or ceremony with Natural Law, bringing it back to the basics of our Universal Laws. So, it is like a portal is opened up, energies are shifted, beliefs revealed, vibrations raised. It can send some into an aha! And some into a scurry. Once this happens and shifts are made, this is where the ‘little ego me’ can get caught up, when my ‘monkey mind’ can start entangling me, and my heart is filled with so much compassion… well, there is just something I gotta do…

My ministry and the groups I am working with’s ‘visions’ are actually One as the Law of Attraction provides in many levels; however, when I personally get too involved on the human level to ‘make it happen,’ that seems to be when I ‘get plucked out!’ And moved to the next stream to plant more seeds while those germinate and grow without my personal interference… ‘my work here is done’ at least for now as the team of Ants put all the new details together.

What I love is that there really is nothing ‘to do’ there is just to ‘be.’ Be the Ant that we are, it Fish, or even …

Let’s just say we all have our specialties, those things that makes us go ‘Mmmm.’ When we be them, when we share them, allowing others to be theirs, we all get to live in our ‘Mmm-fully.’ We mutually benefit from each other and with all living beings.

I am grateful for ‘being’ my hearts vision. Thank you so much for being yours.


Rev Ahowan ICrow

“The Black Dog”

It is like cruising through a sauna with the air so dry and hot as I travel to a home on my Jumanji, a 2004 Yamaha V-Star motorcycle, the nonprofit’s ‘Iron Pony.’  Her name is Jumanji because, well, that is a story for another time.

We pull up to a home in Phoenix, Arizona following the GPS on my iPhone to an address given by a Dog walking app.


All I know is I am here to walk a Great Dane. When I am greeted at the door, the Great Dane sniffs me, the eyes shift, and she lunges to snap at me. What a blessing the owner is home and has her on a leash! 

You see, I have this “Black Dog” who shows up. The aggressive one. First time at an Animal Sanctuary in India. The ‘Black Dog’ was forgotten in a back corner chained, starved and ignored in a kennel. When I found him, I felt compassion for him. I sat with him, offering food and treats, and I got to pet him… briefly. He tried to bite me. I prayed with him asking for his suffering to end. He died that evening.

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The ‘Black Dog’ shows again in India at a second Animal Ashram. This time ‘Blackie’ accepted treats, and let me pet him one brief time, then bit me and a good one! An elder befriended Blackie. He got controlled outings, was loved, well-fed, healthy and being rehabilitated. I will never forget ‘Blackie’ standing on the porch gazing at me when I left the Ashram that day. It was like He was saying, “We are not done yet.”


I return to the USA and am gifted a little Chihuahua. He had skin conditions and an attitude. The words “Anyone who is willing to take a chance with him, we are willing to take a chance on you. Good luck. He’s all yours,” as he is handed over to me.


I remember the moment I turned to look at him and said, “OMG, you are the ‘Black Dog,’ and you are in my bed.” His name was Napoleon. Let us just say, we all have a ‘Napoleon’ or ‘Blackie.’ Remember the story of the young native who asks his Grandfather about feeling like having two wolves living inside of him? One White, One Black. The young native asks, “Which one wins?”

Well, it seems I starved mine once, turned ‘it’ over and now it is in my bed with me, literally…

I rehabilitated my Napoleon with a lot of love, understanding, reiki, meditation, spiritual mind treatments and compassion. The tools I have learned works miracles…within a two month period, Napoleon was ready for adoption. I got intimate with my own inner “Black Dog” inside me.


So now, here I am with this Great Dane…

The owner acts all surprised; however, as we talk I realize the owner knows her Dane is aggressive but is embarrassed by it. I share my compassion and experience, and that I am willing to work with them. We set up a schedule.

I begin treatments right away…not on the Great Dane, not on the owner, but I begin delving into me again. I am the one attracting “Blackie.”. I am the aggressive Great Dane.


As we do our two 30 minute walks each week, I notice when she begins to get aggressive, lunging and wanting to attack is when she gets unsure, frightened, or feels she needs to defend me. She would stop me frequently from walking by leaning into me, wanting reassurance that she is okay and loved…it was not long before I noticed She began emulating my confidence and enthusiasm ‘aggressively.’

I had 4 weeks with Dane. Interestingly enough She was harlequin…neither white or black…but both. Aggression itself is neither good nor bad, it is how we use it, constructively or destructively?  and where it is coming from…fear or love.

By the last week, we are trotting down the road enjoying our walking adventure, so I take off her muzzle. She is feeling free, confident, and I got the sweetest kisses ever! We were completely in love!  


Several months later I get a Dog that has been walked before by other walkers. There is a list of warnings for the walker. “My Dog is very shy, will act like she’ll bite, please take your time.” A Dogue de Bordeaux and there is no owner. I take a deep breath, affirm MY Truth, remember Dane, get the ‘Vibration’ going we had and walk in. The Dog comes running to me! Full of kisses!  


So, for me, instead of running away, starving, ignoring, turning over or even ‘blaming another’ for  “Blackie,” I made friends, no… I fell in love with my “Black Dog” and all ‘it’ has taught me…up until now.


Rev MyShell Howler aka Ahowan ICrow is an Outreach RScP, OAC, and Humane Minister. President, Founder, and Spiritual Leader of Apithan Ministries, AHOWAN Traveling Spiritual Sanctuary and the Rashini Centers for Spiritual Living Study Group.

Vegan…What does that REALLY mean?

I can give you the definition according to Wikipedia

I can tell you what the main World Religions say about ‘how to treat’ Animals…

I can also explain what the difference is between Vegan and Vegetarian…and be sure to take the time read here as well.

However, in honor of World Vegan Day, let me share with you the reasons I feel so passionate about ‘it ‘ (veganism and animals) in my heart and what lead my non-profit to join United Religions Initiative years back as I was becoming an Ordained Animal Chaplain and Humane Minister.

I had been on several ‘Compassion Rides for Animals” with my non-profit ( in numerous countries to share the message that if we want peace, we must honor the animals. The message for the Rides was, “The animals can live without the human; however, the human cannot live without the animals. What we do to them we do to ourselves. So, what if saving the animals, IS saving the earth.” (There is now a group called that!)


I have since joined a passionate group of “Animal Compassionistas” called the Compassion For All Living Beings CC and we are inviting others to join us!

Here is my deeper reasoning for being Vegan (besides loving animals, my health, and our Mother Earth).

The Golden Rule is present in every major religion and most cultures, each expressing it in their own words. Basically, it is, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” And each of tradition has a reference to include all living beings.

The original definition of animal comes from the Latin word ‘anima’ which meant “any living being.” We are all animals, we are all living beings. Which means the Golden Rule applies to us all, any living being.


So, when we put the Golden Rule and animal together with those things we say we all want: peace, freedom, equality, dignity, respect… at least we say we do…we must, therefore, want all of these for everyone.

What we want is a world that works for everyone, and for the Mother Earth to continue to support the lives of our children.

So, let’s take into account all that “being Vegan” is. It is a living practice of the Golden Rule, including the ‘animal tenets’ of all the major religions and cultures. It is covered in the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals, part of the URI PPP’s and definitely covers ALL of life… including, but not limited to: humans, soil, water, women, men, religions, hunger, cultures, children, the environment, and Mother Earth herself, by giving the very freedom, peace, equality, dignity, and respect to ALL living beings in a way that is sustainable for Mother Earth and all of us who reside.


Let’s face it…being Vegan adheres to all of it, even in the absence of religion, culture or a national boundary. It is a global ‘thing.’ It is about opening one’s heart to the realization of “What we give or do to any animal, human or not, we get it back in return.” And today’s world is absolutely demonstrative of how many of us have not been living with “e” for empathy towards animals, (knowingly or unknowingly) which is why the United Nations itself is calling for us all to switch to a plant-based diet or in other words to be ‘Vegan‘.


So, for me this term we use, ‘Vegan,’ incorporates so much more to me than the food we eat, the clothes we wear, and the products we use. For me, it is the Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have done unto you” practiced with all living beings, including human Animals.

In practice, veganism has no real need for religious affinity… it is a human ‘thing, ‘ no more like a humane ‘thing.’ allowing the ‘e’ to be for empathy.

Being Vegan for me is a basic philosophy for treating all life with equality. When we teach our children that we eat these animals, and we wear these animals, but we pamper these other animals, it’s undeniable that we are teaching discrimination. Just like the undeniable connection science has proven when a child is abusive to an animal they will soon be abusive to other humans.

So, in honor of ALL these, and especially in honor of World Vegan Day, Apithan Ministries has taken a public stand with joining the “Prevent Year Zero Declaration.”

I hope something ‘vegan’ gets stirred in your heart, may you eat Vegan along with the Parliament of World Religions this November 1st and let us all unite to include ALL living beings, every day, with every meal, with every decision.

Join the Prevent Year Zero Declaration, here is a Vegan Starter Kit, and here is a beginning Environmental Toolkit, AND be sure to share your Declaration and experiences of the kits with Compassion for All Living Beings CC!

From my heart to your heart,

May we have Peace with all Animals,

Rev Ahowan ICrow, HM, OAC, RScP                   IMG_2341.JPG

On behalf of Compassion for All Living Beings CC, a cooperation circle of the URI Multi-Region  

“The motivation behind vegan living is the universal spiritual principle of compassion that has been articulated both secularly and through the world’s religious traditions; the difference lies in veganism’s insistence that this compassion be actually practiced. The words of Donald Watson, who created the term “vegan” in 1944, reveal this practical orientation and it bears repeating:

“Veganism denotes a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practical, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing, or any other purpose; and by extension promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of humans, animals, and the environment.”

Will Tuttle “World Peace Diet”

Whose Animals, Whose Way

“My way is the right way.”

Oh, how funny is that?!

It may be right for the one speaking it, and that is all. We all have “our right way.” Saying that one is right or one is wrong is like saying the Creator is wrong.


That being said, I share my ‘Vegan’ perspective now and then, or other animal-related, environmental, or otherwise now and then… (OK, you probably know I have and I will) … because I feel passionate about Peace, Animals, and Life. My passion is my life….. always has been, always will be. For me, it is what makes life worth living. Animals do that for me…including those Iron Ponies called motorcycles.





I trust my family of Human Animals will remember I am not telling you I know it all, that either of us is right or wrong, or attempting to change your mind….because you are one of those Animals, I do not intend to tell you what your truth is: I can only share you mine, and know that you may find something in it that brings you closer to yours.

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Rumi says: “out beyond ideas of right or wrong, there is a field…I will meet you there”.

Just as the non-human Animals are who they are…I am who I am, and you can be who you are. If our views do not appear to align with one or the other, we can just move along our lives, peacefully, to our next experience…Hakuna Matata


Just remember, I love you…

We are all Animals of the One Animal so remember the Golden Rule

“Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

Rev Ahowan ICrow RScP, OAC OHM

Founder and Spiritual Leader of Apithan Ministries, Co-founder and President of 501C3 Ahowan Sanctuary



Gratitude Heals Peacefully

International Day of Peace, 8 representatives, on what is believed the oldest set of Petroglyphs in Deming, NM. A SouthWest High Desert which has seen many conflicts years ago. The Gathering was planned; however, the rest was “An Open Space Ceremony.” Our intention, honoring the Animals (both human and non), honoring the sacredness of these lands, which have been abandoned, turned over to the Bureau of Land Management for Cattle and been desecrated by looters. This is what came through us…


APITHAN Ministries brought together a representative of several cultures for honoring Mother Earth, Her Waters, and Creatures. Each of the 7 representatives, (Indigenous, Spanish, Pioneer, Military, Miner, Missionary), all spoke gratitude for what ‘they’ brought these lands.



Ahowan ICrow, the Ceremony leader, finished the gratitude (8th representative) with the non-human Animals which labored, traveled, taught, fed and supported Humans, then and now.



The Sacred Directions Invocation and gratitude organically started us drumming a meditation, followed by a chanting blessing, and some storytelling. A rich Indigenous Creation story, how a Spirit Animal presented itself, WWI and cattle ranching.



Our Ceremony ended honoring the Sunset and Moonrise with a personal Eagle Song, singing John Lennon’s ‘Imagine,’ and voicing one word, “One.” 


Rev Ahowan ICrow OAC, RScP, OHM

Founder and Spiritual Leader of APITHAN Ministries, Co-founder and President of AHOWAN Traveling Sanctuary



Is Anger "Spiritual?"

We have all heard it, “You are a Spiritual person, you do Yoga, meditate and pray right? Then why do you get angry? Why you get angry with me? Why you show your anger with me?”  Maybe you have not; however, I have heard this myself.  For me, I have even heard the comparison (because I am an Animal Chaplain, a Humane Minister, ‘a holy person.’) “You say your a minister, a holy person, but Jesus never got angry…” Really? Yes,  Jesus and other holy people got and get angry and showed it. I get angry, raise my voice, and even ‘get depressed,’  I’ll give you an example, a story of my own.

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I am in India, three of the 5 times I went as a consultant for several Animal Ashrams. An Ashram is defined as ‘a hermitage, monastic community, or other place of religious retreat.’ These were Ashrams for Animals, where the Animals are considered part of the Divine. I am asked to help them organize the hospitality of the Animals, to define jobs, to ‘get good schedule’ for the Animals, to oversee these jobs and schedule and to get the Animal care ‘to more compassionate standards’ and ‘help us get more orderly.’ So I do, I watch what is taking place, make suggestions, and am told to instill or oversee them.

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When I first arrived in India, admittedly I was confused, angry, and most definitely a bit of sadness. I had some judgments about how I saw the Animals being treated, I was  angry and disappointed…a controlled wrath almost. I learned quickly my anger was my own judgment, especially from seeing the overwhelming misery and having expectations about what I heard or what is considered the “spiritual capital of the world.” I learned that standards of care are relative to the environment, religious beliefs, knowledge and caste systems. This is where I also learned a deepened sense of compassion and understanding not only for what the non-human Animals were demonstrating to us, but the human Animal as well. The words, “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do,” kept resounding through my mind.

I became no longer angry with the ‘other human,’ but a sense of gratitude and compassion deepened, for both the human and non-human. Just like me, they are all wanting to be better. That first consulting experience ended, and though I learned to speak, demonstrate, and witness some changes in the Ashram, the Animals and the people; when I returned for my next Ashram’s consultation, the anger from that point became an anger I directed at myself for feeling as if I have not ‘done enough,’ spoken up loudly and clearly enough. How come this message is not broadcast everywhere?

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You see, in all my visits I spoke up for the Animals’ care, how the Animals demonstrate what is going on in the human consciousness and by using the Golden Rule that is present in all religions, cultures, and faiths. I could see how it changed lives! Not just the non-human Animals, but it began with the human Animals’ lives.

With each instruction I gave, it was taken…”Yes, mam. Will do, mam;” however, not always implemented, or fully understood. Sometimes, Animals lives were at stake, or they were ‘suffering.’ I spoke harshly the second time I had to share, and if there was a third time I had to repeat myself, it came from a ‘not so pretty place,’ or resorted to doing/demonstrating myself. My justification was the Animals cannot speak for themselves. Then, I would get angry at myself for getting angry, and several times it took me to getting depressed. Sometimes, I would spend hours, days, or even weeks feeling as if there was ‘something wrong’ with me, my spirituality. One thing is for sure, a majority of the people I have met are angels who have taught me that their goodness, their determination that they want only the best for the Animals, and they want to be educated to do better to, and how we both can be better when we are willing to communicate openly from the heart,  setting our own judgments, assumptions, expectations and ‘shoulds’ aside.

Sometimes though, communication would stop. One of the humans would stop communicating with me. I would feel like a messenger who ‘got shot.’ Well, Jesus got crucified and Jesus did get angry . Actually, there are 7 moments when Jesus acted unlike what we call “Jesus” or “God-like.”  In an article written by Rational Christianity it states:

“Is such anger wrong? To say “God is never angry” or “God should never be angry” is to say that God shouldn’t be angry when innocent people are hurt or killed, or that he shouldn’t be angry that the Holocaust took place. There are different kinds of anger, as described in the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

ANGER, IRE, RAGE, FURY, INDIGNATION, WRATH mean an intense emotional state induced by displeasure. ANGER, the most general term, names the reaction but in itself conveys nothing about intensity or justification or manifestation of the emotional state <tried to hide his anger>. IRE, more frequent in literary contexts, may suggest greater intensity than anger, often with an evident display of feeling <cheeks flushed dark with ire>. RAGE suggests loss of self-control from violence of emotion <screaming with rage>. FURY is overmastering destructive rage that can verge on madness <in her fury she accused everyone around her of betrayal>. INDIGNATION stresses righteous anger at what one considers unfair, mean, or shameful <a refusal to listen that caused general indignation>. WRATH is likely to suggest a desire or intent to revenge or punish <rose in his wrath and struck his tormentor to the floor>.

Indignation, as described above, is what could be called righteous anger – anger at wrongdoing. This is Jesus’ anger, for Jesus is angered by wrongdoing. Clearly some forms of anger (such as fury as defined above) are wrong, and this is the anger that Jesus spoke out against in Matthew 5:22 – anger that is destructive and unnecessarily demeaning.”

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So, here is another statement I heard several times, “Give us the instructions, you are holy person. Let us get angry with them, you be like a Mother Teresa who never got angry…you just pray and give the instructions” Well, did she get angry? Yes, she did. And it is also noted she spent many years conquering her darkness.

As I read her story, even watched her movie, I can feel relate to her feelings, and this whole experience has brought me to a deeper awareness of myself, to what many of us who have come to an understanding of ‘letting go’ of what we believe it should be, and have faith in the “Power that be.” In other words, we ARE doing the will of our Inner God and if we have Faith in the one God that is leading us all, it is all good and as it shall be.  For who am I or any one of us to say, “What is good or bad, right or wrong.” It is these judgments and expectations that stir up our anger, rage, fury, and wrath.

So, What about the Buddha? Did the Buddha get angry? Yes, Buddha got angry, reprimanded, and even kicked a basin. Buddha’s anger was if you mistreat others, and though it was anger, it was shared constructively in a stern fashion, just as with Jesus and Mother Teresa, in a stern fashion so as to be heard.

So there is anger when we ‘do not get our way,’ our feelings are hurt, something touches our fear places, or we ‘think’ something should be different. These are ‘angers’ from our human ego. And, for myself, I will say that I felt that when I first went to India. However, when one is angry from a compassionate and empathetic place, a place from the heart while still authentically loving who they are working with, passionate about who they are working for, is it really anger? or is it more like Jesus, and Mother Teresa, an indignation and being a stern voice? However, does that make it right? Wrong? Spiritual? Non-spiritual? None of the above…it makes us compassionate humans.


So, just as St Francis…who, YES, also got angry, we all are learning to be aware of our emotions, where they are coming from, how to share our ‘indignation’ peacefully from a place within our hearts and with what calls our hearts.

I know for myself, the two most powerful emotions or feelings are gratitude and anger, and yet, at the core, they both are Love. This is the place I deepened into during that first consultation job. It grew with each consultation, and has continued to grow where I can I recognize it and transform it to a place of ‘compassionate apathy’ almost immediately. It is simple; however, it is not easy. However, the more you practice and surrender, the easier it can be.

Everything is what it is and it will be what it will be. Let your Heart lead the way.