Is Anger "Spiritual?"

We have all heard it, “You are a Spiritual person, you do Yoga, meditate and pray right? Then why do you get angry? Why you get angry with me? Why you show your anger with me?”  Maybe you have not; however, I have heard this myself.  For me, I have even heard the comparison (because I am an Animal Chaplain, a Humane Minister, ‘a holy person.’) “You say your a minister, a holy person, but Jesus never got angry…” Really? Yes,  Jesus and other holy people got and get angry and showed it. I get angry, raise my voice, and even ‘get depressed,’  I’ll give you an example, a story of my own.

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I am in India, three of the 5 times I went as a consultant for several Animal Ashrams. An Ashram is defined as ‘a hermitage, monastic community, or other place of religious retreat.’ These were Ashrams for Animals, where the Animals are considered part of the Divine. I am asked to help them organize the hospitality of the Animals, to define jobs, to ‘get good schedule’ for the Animals, to oversee these jobs and schedule and to get the Animal care ‘to more compassionate standards’ and ‘help us get more orderly.’ So I do, I watch what is taking place, make suggestions, and am told to instill or oversee them.

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When I first arrived in India, admittedly I was confused, angry, and most definitely a bit of sadness. I had some judgments about how I saw the Animals being treated, I was  angry and disappointed…a controlled wrath almost. I learned quickly my anger was my own judgment, especially from seeing the overwhelming misery and having expectations about what I heard or what is considered the “spiritual capital of the world.” I learned that standards of care are relative to the environment, religious beliefs, knowledge and caste systems. This is where I also learned a deepened sense of compassion and understanding not only for what the non-human Animals were demonstrating to us, but the human Animal as well. The words, “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do,” kept resounding through my mind.

I became no longer angry with the ‘other human,’ but a sense of gratitude and compassion deepened, for both the human and non-human. Just like me, they are all wanting to be better. That first consulting experience ended, and though I learned to speak, demonstrate, and witness some changes in the Ashram, the Animals and the people; when I returned for my next Ashram’s consultation, the anger from that point became an anger I directed at myself for feeling as if I have not ‘done enough,’ spoken up loudly and clearly enough. How come this message is not broadcast everywhere?

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You see, in all my visits I spoke up for the Animals’ care, how the Animals demonstrate what is going on in the human consciousness and by using the Golden Rule that is present in all religions, cultures, and faiths. I could see how it changed lives! Not just the non-human Animals, but it began with the human Animals’ lives.

With each instruction I gave, it was taken…”Yes, mam. Will do, mam;” however, not always implemented, or fully understood. Sometimes, Animals lives were at stake, or they were ‘suffering.’ I spoke harshly the second time I had to share, and if there was a third time I had to repeat myself, it came from a ‘not so pretty place,’ or resorted to doing/demonstrating myself. My justification was the Animals cannot speak for themselves. Then, I would get angry at myself for getting angry, and several times it took me to getting depressed. Sometimes, I would spend hours, days, or even weeks feeling as if there was ‘something wrong’ with me, my spirituality. One thing is for sure, a majority of the people I have met are angels who have taught me that their goodness, their determination that they want only the best for the Animals, and they want to be educated to do better to, and how we both can be better when we are willing to communicate openly from the heart,  setting our own judgments, assumptions, expectations and ‘shoulds’ aside.

Sometimes though, communication would stop. One of the humans would stop communicating with me. I would feel like a messenger who ‘got shot.’ Well, Jesus got crucified and Jesus did get angry . Actually, there are 7 moments when Jesus acted unlike what we call “Jesus” or “God-like.”  In an article written by Rational Christianity it states:

“Is such anger wrong? To say “God is never angry” or “God should never be angry” is to say that God shouldn’t be angry when innocent people are hurt or killed, or that he shouldn’t be angry that the Holocaust took place. There are different kinds of anger, as described in the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

ANGER, IRE, RAGE, FURY, INDIGNATION, WRATH mean an intense emotional state induced by displeasure. ANGER, the most general term, names the reaction but in itself conveys nothing about intensity or justification or manifestation of the emotional state <tried to hide his anger>. IRE, more frequent in literary contexts, may suggest greater intensity than anger, often with an evident display of feeling <cheeks flushed dark with ire>. RAGE suggests loss of self-control from violence of emotion <screaming with rage>. FURY is overmastering destructive rage that can verge on madness <in her fury she accused everyone around her of betrayal>. INDIGNATION stresses righteous anger at what one considers unfair, mean, or shameful <a refusal to listen that caused general indignation>. WRATH is likely to suggest a desire or intent to revenge or punish <rose in his wrath and struck his tormentor to the floor>.

Indignation, as described above, is what could be called righteous anger – anger at wrongdoing. This is Jesus’ anger, for Jesus is angered by wrongdoing. Clearly some forms of anger (such as fury as defined above) are wrong, and this is the anger that Jesus spoke out against in Matthew 5:22 – anger that is destructive and unnecessarily demeaning.”

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So, here is another statement I heard several times, “Give us the instructions, you are holy person. Let us get angry with them, you be like a Mother Teresa who never got angry…you just pray and give the instructions” Well, did she get angry? Yes, she did. And it is also noted she spent many years conquering her darkness.

As I read her story, even watched her movie, I can feel relate to her feelings, and this whole experience has brought me to a deeper awareness of myself, to what many of us who have come to an understanding of ‘letting go’ of what we believe it should be, and have faith in the “Power that be.” In other words, we ARE doing the will of our Inner God and if we have Faith in the one God that is leading us all, it is all good and as it shall be.  For who am I or any one of us to say, “What is good or bad, right or wrong.” It is these judgments and expectations that stir up our anger, rage, fury, and wrath.

So, What about the Buddha? Did the Buddha get angry? Yes, Buddha got angry, reprimanded, and even kicked a basin. Buddha’s anger was if you mistreat others, and though it was anger, it was shared constructively in a stern fashion, just as with Jesus and Mother Teresa, in a stern fashion so as to be heard.

So there is anger when we ‘do not get our way,’ our feelings are hurt, something touches our fear places, or we ‘think’ something should be different. These are ‘angers’ from our human ego. And, for myself, I will say that I felt that when I first went to India. However, when one is angry from a compassionate and empathetic place, a place from the heart while still authentically loving who they are working with, passionate about who they are working for, is it really anger? or is it more like Jesus, and Mother Teresa, an indignation and being a stern voice? However, does that make it right? Wrong? Spiritual? Non-spiritual? None of the above…it makes us compassionate humans.


So, just as St Francis…who, YES, also got angry, we all are learning to be aware of our emotions, where they are coming from, how to share our ‘indignation’ peacefully from a place within our hearts and with what calls our hearts.

I know for myself, the two most powerful emotions or feelings are gratitude and anger, and yet, at the core, they both are Love. This is the place I deepened into during that first consultation job. It grew with each consultation, and has continued to grow where I can I recognize it and transform it to a place of ‘compassionate apathy’ almost immediately. It is simple; however, it is not easy. However, the more you practice and surrender, the easier it can be.

Everything is what it is and it will be what it will be. Let your Heart lead the way.




What The Animals Taught Me This Week

Sunday, Napoleon’s new home manifested so organically after ME coming to the place of letting go how, when, and where this ‘organically’ would take place, that I would not leave Him, unless I felt it was right……I spend the day processing my ‘fear’ of traveling and camping without Him. I witness my feelings and emotions, and realign with my Divine Knowing that no matter what takes place, it is not about my fears, it is about what is right for Him. I get clear with my intention, my prayer, and before I could even release it to the Ethers……I get a call, it is His new home. I witness myself gathering His belongings, and borrowing a vehicle to take Him. He slides right into the Home, meets the other Dogs, and I walk away. Napoleon taught me; we have organically found His forever home. It was so graceful Spirit, and even the names of the roads, the other Dogs, and Humans were so synchronistic!! Cardinal is about seeing the Divinity in even dark times, Wild Turkey is about giving and sharing abundance, and Dove is about peace of mind with Divine Law. After I leave, I feel my awe in the smoothness of how it all took place………Then, the next morning I am processing my grief on my morning meditation run and when I have the ……. Wow, I am SO happy for Him, His new family, all is well, A Pileated Woodpecker rattles out. I look over, and in all the times I have been blessed to see a Pileated, I have never seen one so close AND on the ground. I receive a call when I return to where I am staying. It is Napoleon’s new Caretaker, and I get the report of how well they are doing. I am also told His new name…..Napoleon Blaze is now Napoleon Dynamite!! LOL! I cannot wait to share the full story of Napoleon and all that He has taught me since He began entering my dreams to find Him and finding His forever home.


Monday I am grateful to reveal the Trinity once again……The Trinity has been catching my awareness for about two weeks, and at most auspicious moments when I feel ‘off balance’ by questioning myself. These ‘questions’ come for me as I hear comments, questions, and judgments from others about decisions……some of these ‘questions’ even coming in the form of…..”You should be doing this or this.”

I begin noticing how these comments, questions, and judgmental perspectives have actually crossed my mind…..and are actually ‘vibrations’ I AM putting out, and they are being spoken back to me……I am the one questioning myself, and these people are speaking my thoughts back to me. I notice how I can allow these thoughts to plummet my emotions and vibration, or I can take the opportunity to re-evaluate with my Inner Voice as to what I know in my Heart is the real Truth.

Today, because the Royal Enfield is STILL not complete in getting a new starter cylinoid, (the part has not even shown up at the mechanic and it has been a MONTH waiting)….I am told, by a trusted fellow human Animal that I have not handled this situation correctly, that I should have done this or that…….I should have ‘taken charge’ and gotten angry…….taken the matter into my own hands.

And yet, as I commune with the Marigold, I KNOW, without a doubt, that I followed every Stone in my path. I have been kind, compassionate, and I do not know ‘how’ Spirit will bring the magic of having the part and Bullet ready; but, I have Faith it will be complete. (PS the part was found, next day shipped, and the Bullet was ready! The mechanic said, “I don’t know how this happened, we have never seen anything like this before, but we got your part and she is ready for you!) Now THAT is the Magic of God that I know!

Tuesday, I am gifted with a vehicle for the day to ‘just get out” beyond where I can walk. I am headed back to the living quarters and at the last second decide to pull into a gas station. I am singing “Jesus take the Wheel,” so appropriate with letting go of what happens with the Royal Enfield.

A Lady walks up to my vehicle asking if I could give Her a ride. “Give me just a minute to get a cold drink.” She is Homeless. It begins to downpour…….and our discussion as we drive is all around gratitude, trust, taking things one step at a time, that I am ‘houseless’ too, and grateful I could have this vehicle and be here for her today.

What also felt SO beautiful… she wanted to cash a check and give me part of it just for helping Her so much…….She even teared up numerous times. For me, it was all about being grateful I was here to help someone, and knowing there is no way ‘She’ could pay me back.

A ride to one place, turns into a ride to another, and then She asks, “Can you help me cash a check?” (through me) Now, I had just been doing a LOT of prayerful affirming on being “guided, guarded and protected,” for the Compassion Ride coming up and camping……alone. Part of me can feel this check cashing is a scam; however, I stay in Trust that this ‘could’ be real and I do want to help Her.

Spirit affirmed the ‘scam’ by setting up ‘blocks’ at each place we stopped, including my own Credit Union. The ‘REAL’ bank finally surfaces. It is just around the corner…..(the bank on the check!), and She declines to go saying…..”No, they are not open, just take me to my camp, you have done enough…..I cannot ask you to do this, please mam.” I call the bank, “They are open. We have come this far, are you sure? They ARE open.” She insists on NOT going, and taking Her to the camp.

I drop Her off and inside, I hear…..”It was a scam.” I am SO Grateful to Spirit for demonstrating “Guided, Guarded, and Protected” in a natural, loving, peaceful and joyous way. As I walk through the woods sharing in my voice journal……I feel like this joyous, orange, blossomy Mushroom…..just popped out of the ground overnight.

Wednesday the Magic takes flight!! As I take rest, align my gear, and feel aligned to take flight……..even though I know that I will not get a test ride on the Royal Enfield with all the gear………As I watch this pair of Butterflies flying synchronistically together from Flower to Flower…..I feel the Harmony with what is taking place. For me, 2 is a number of harmony…..and Butterfly is all about resurrection. My only part, is to follow the “Lead Butterfly” in my Heart and witness where the winds are taking me.

My gear is ready. I am rested. The part is on its way. Tomorrow, I pick up the RE Bullet, load Her up and pull out on Friday……even though my gut is wrenching, no test ride, or gear balance check. Does a Butterfly get a test ride? Does a Butterfly fear the winds or the journey? Hmmmm. What I do know is, there is a promise in my Heart with the Animals, I made a promise with several Animal Organizations and Spirit Family……and God-willing, I keep them…..I have given my word.


Thursday……as I am loading up my gear onto the RE Bullet at 6:00 at night ……Spider appears. It is a jumping Spider. As I watch and listen, admiring the agility….I hear, “There going to be some hopping around, keep your eyes focused on the white.”  What I begin to feel is…..there is a big change happening; however, it feels real exciting. (Now part of me is going, ‘Duh.’) My gut wrenching is gone, yet I still have this well….”unknown;” however, I am so ready to launch out and ‘see’ what it is…….besides the obvious! LOL

Friday……..6:30 am……the promised pulling out takes place. Before leaving town, I turn back to pick up an item off the helmet I was guided to leave behind. I take off again……

Before reaching the end of town, there is a loud “snap” and the engine stops. I coast to the side of the road. She will not start back up. After an hour, the tow truck comes. Another hour the mechanic shows up……..”I got bad news for ya, the engine dropped a valve and slammed your spark plug shut. You are not going anywhere, anytime soon.” At this time, I am SO grateful I listened to turn back to pick up an item, (Inner voice) instead of calling to have it mailed (My mind)…..I would have been out in the countryside.

Now, I have been hearing Spirit share “A new ride is on the way.” And, it has actually has been offered several times; however, it has just not materialized for different reasons…..even though I have been saying, “YES, I’m ready!”

8 hours later…….by the Grace of Spirit…..She is towed, a second time and by the best, ‘down-home’ mechanic, with the most loving little Dog, and in the pouring rain. “I will call you tomorrow after I open Her up and tell you what you are in for.”

The hardest part for me in this whole day…..swallowing my ‘ego’ to call my Host and ask if I can return……………… What Animal taught me today? The most gracious, generously compassionate human Animals.

From Roadside assistance, to the Tow Truck driver, to the garage ‘boys’ with my ‘gotta step outside and have a ‘female’ moment (good cry and making recommendations), to the generosity of the next mechanic AND coming to pick her up! and my Host retrieving me……and then, I am handed the most delicious home-cooked meal with all my favorites!


Saturday….the human Animal continues to amaze me. I am brought a magazine I adore…..and the reading is absolutely perfect, along with a carafe of coffee.

Great Spirit is not letting me leave Tallahassee until the “New Ride” is demonstrated……and I am now ready. All the pieces have come together…….including the call from the mechanic with the full extent of the damage.

The Royal Enfield Bullet is complete. I remember when I got Her, the song “Shot to the Heart” (with my own words by the way) was like a theme…..and as I look back, I can see how these words manifested so clearly with what all took place during the journey with Her……….priceless, abundantly priceless…….and has brought me to this point of cocooning as I have been doing these past few months, and getting ready for this next launch. Now, Great Spirit, let the magic of the intended ride reveal.



What the Animals Taught Me This Week

Sunday, I am grateful for Cockroach having babies! A perfectly clean home in a tropical environment…..and out in the open. For me, this was a fascinating process to awaken to in the early morning as I get ready to do my morning spiritual practices…. Cockroach is about survival, in all environments. It is using resources, determination, and learning to get through and love our ‘dark, dirty self’ for a better understanding and handling of our spiritual selves with our ‘Napoleon.’

I feel the synchronicity, trust and beauty of this exotic Cockroach Mother having Her babies, sharing with me that my resilience is multiplying into the appropriate areas by allowing my resources and the determination I have for the Animals, the Animal Child Ashram, sharing the message of our Oneness with all Animals to direct my focus, no matter what challenge I face……and it is Great Spirit or Love, which gifts all that we get to experience, including ourselves and this moment with Cockroach Mother.

Monday I am grateful for Lizard literally ‘dropping from the sky’ as I finish my prayers for ‘What I am to ‘do’ next, since the recordings are complete and I am to begin editing…….As I listen, I hear….”Drop that for now, and shift gears to keep your ‘head up’ as you travel.” As I turn on my computer, that listening pops up on the screen! I must begin a process of shifting my documents/work to a ‘free’ and compatible format to use in the future! In other words….publisher, word are expiring and how can I work this, and with others……. and like magic the steps are revealed, fully taken care of through the afternoon….detach and rejuvenate….and I got a week or so to practice before going mobile again. Thank you Lizard for ‘dropping by’!!

Tuesday I am grateful for a long and full day of rain. Nature’s way of saying….take rest….get out for a drive, take a gander by the River, rejuvenate…..feel the cleanse, a renewed flow. The module and document/app work complete for now, the flow begins swooshing to logistics and gear.

Wednesday I am grateful for the Dogs,  for the story of Napoleon getting clearer and clearer, as it continues to write. I am grateful for the continuous reminder of the threes….a thriving, joyous Trinity, whether through Dog, Flower, Hawk, Vulture or otherwise……..and taking deep contemplation on how I allow the integrity of mine to balance, and how it has evolved….none of it bad, not of it good, it just is. I am grateful how every step has been absolutely necessary. I am grateful for “As above, so below…so below, as above.”

Thursday it is all about ‘Napoleon,’ my Animal companion (Dog). You see, I was told it would be best to leave him, to return him to the shelter even. A donation would be offered, and my travels would go so much easier. I heard it, and thought….okay, let’s see, I know I must give Him up to go to India; however, my ‘gut’ or Heart knows He will be gifted organically on the road over the next few months.

SO, I witness myself going through all those self-judgments of surrendering an Animal, all those judgments of ‘others and what they say,’ and I feel how, in doing that, I have turned my power over to those judgments. I was a master in that in the past, and even in knowing this truth, I sometimes have caught myself stewing in it for days. Today, I felt it, all those feelings, sat with them, and this time it became different. I felt those thoughts, those words, those feelings were mine completely…….both inward and outward… ‘others’ or as mine projected, it felt the same either way….as the rescuer and the rescued.

Interestingly enough, the ‘judgement’ part that came in halting the rescue, was when the one rescue group who did contact me back about Napoleon, asked about ‘heartworm preventative.’  And this whole thing began, on many levels, because I believed a suggestion given to me in the first place; instead of sticking to what my Heart ‘knew.’ His ‘rescue’ or new home, will happen organically on the next part of this Peregrination (Journey).

Friday it is the Butterfly……..

and the Butterfly even shows up in Trinity after I listen to getting the gear waterproofed, bugproofed, and configured for the motorcycle travel……..and to allow myself with being light and free by accepting the offer to leave the India gear behind till I am ready to actually depart in November……

Saturday the Ducks lure me in to caring for myself and my Heart-calling as I learn to navigate finding National/Federal campsites……..and, staying with where I am in the ‘now’…..I treat one of my Hosts to a ‘Thank you’ culinary experience…..and we take it to venture along a park’s lake.

First there is one baby chick with a dozen or so adult Ducks…..and the Turtles are noticeably awaiting for the young one to return to the water…..”It takes a village to raise a Child!” That is one thought, eh?

Then on the other side, of the lake….. there is two adults with about 3 dozen Chicks!! There are no Turtles over here either…… Hmmmm, it is like an orphanage, daycare, or school eh?

As the walk continues, there is a Duck couple with a group of Chicks……..another hmmmmm…..What we would call ‘normal,’ eh?

As I observe, there is one Chick who is ‘separate’ or not following the others and looks noticeably smaller, like a runt. This runt suddenly takes off paddling, passes the other Chicks and the Adult…….all the other Chicks and, even the two Adults begin following……. this Chick leads them to a new grazing sight……..Hmmmmm, shall we follow the Children?

Continuing to finish circling the lake, the last Duck is pure white, has a unique crown and a single chick……

There are many different ways; however, there is one pure Spirit who created them all, 

Rev Ahowan ICrow




What The Animals Taught Me This Week

Sunday, I share my gratitude for the Squirrel. Squirrel kept making a close appearance to me, over and over throughout the day, just at the moments Great Horned Owl hooting and Crows cawing….as if to say, “Mindfully go through your stash of what you have learned, listen to the Wise One for which to pull out, and the bring the magic cawing.”

This so holds true throughout the day, and even the entire week as the recordings continued for the “Reflections with Animals” video series, as a course and Special Talk series for the ASC Module…….It really was listening to the Wise Owl for the right stories to share from each Peregrination (journey) in USA and India.

Monday, I am so grateful for the Hummingbird who kept flying in front of me….chirping with excitement as if to remind me, “Have fun!” I found myself numerous times really being critical with myself!! Doubting myself when I would finish sharing a story…….

Tuesday, the Cockroach has me in a deepened understanding of how resilient I am. I realize through the recordings, I am reliving the stories, feelings, and learning/teaching all over again……and coming to a much deeper peace as I process through them on this level of sharing them in a different way. I am connecting with the very energies of the experiences, so I can share what I learned…….I am grateful for the Cockroach whom has  lived prolifically through every storm, for millions of years.

Wednesday, I am grateful for the Ants demonstrating harmonious, synchronized teamwork to cross roads which may seem impossible…….it takes teamwork, and each team creates a section…..and with all the sections connected……safe passage for all takes place…….

Later in the day, this demonstrates through a global networking call for the environment! I sit in awe witnessing all the participants, hearing their stories and work, and seeing how everyone is part of the One Consciousness calling each of us into action,  to do our part, and how we are all being led to connect together physically to bridge our resources.

Thursday I am grateful for the Passion Flower reminding me to stay focused my passion, what calls my heart, and is my promise to bloom through me.

Friday the Cloud Animals remind me, I am a passing Cloud; we all are. Sometimes, it is in fleeting moments we get to show our Truth; and while enjoying the view of the journey as we pass through.

Saturday, a “rare for me to see Butterfly” makes an appearance …… synchronistically on the day I finish the recordings for this “Reflections with Animals” course and is ready for the next step of editing. Whoohoo!

What I Learned this Week from the Animals.

Sunday the Lizard demonstrated to me…..”Let the passion of your message be heard through your voice, raise it high and proud, yet humble in the unique delivery I created you to be, and the Cardinal Spirit will fly it on the winds and carry it to heard.”

And what I know to be true….What is True for One, is True for us all….

Monday the Cat cries out for me in a place I have been visiting every morning. As I carry Her, She reminds me to be truly independent one must depend on our Universal Nature for all needs and desires.

Tuesday the Mushroom gleemed to me some new enlightenment is quickly emerging for me …..and this proves true. I have been asking for a way to share the MayaHara Meditation without having gain permission from the producers of the music I normally use, and my ‘big business integrity.’ In my Noon Deeksha meditation, the enlightenment comes…… I hear, “Sing the MayaHara mantra I gave you, record the other mantras yourself, and honor your hometown Spirit Family with using their song. Do this, you are now free.”

Wednesday, Napoleon mirrors to me how enjoyable it is to be comforted in storms. When things get ‘scary,’ we all can use a compassionate touch, to just ‘be’ in loving support, eh? So, what I know to be true…..These companion Animals give it so willingly. I am grateful to be the comfort He accepts. 

Thursday I gratefully learn from the human Animal, a shared determination in making a difference for the Animals, their deserving of respect, we all need hugs, and even more so…….that fumbling on your words, not getting your point across in words the first time,  does not mean you don’t know- what you know- you know. Sometimes ya just got to ‘do it,’ walk through the door, demonstrate it.

Friday!! Napoleon shares in the exhilarated excitement of getting to use a vehicle to take a ride!! We go to check on the Royal Enfield Bullet and her repairs. We are so grateful for the Strawberry Moon and getting to see the largest, longest, blue/yellow tailed Shooting Star! Hoooowwwllllll!! and then Whhhhheeeeeee!!

Saturday the Squirrel repeatedly came to me, over and over throughout the day; even with Napoleon by my side……at these most synchronistic moments of contemplation, “Pull out your nuts of knowledge, knaw on it…..use it.”img_2851

There is One orchestrating Energy breathing every Animal. I am grateful to be an Animal